How To Legally Become A New Person

Written by Rebecca Peck · 32 minute read

Names are emotional things. They mean a lot to a person, even though that person may have been given that name before they were even aware of it. We inhabit that name, making it a part of our identity.

But what happens when you need to change that name? When that name no longer fits the person you are? This is an issue faced by many, but especially those of us in the transgender community. Even if you are otherwise happy with your name, since in most languages names often have very strong gendered connotations, it is not uncommon for transgender people to want to change their name to better match their gender identity.

Here’s the process I used to change my name and markers, where possible, with the following services. A lot of this is based on my notes I made during the process. In posting this, I am hoping to help others who are changing their names know how to better navigate this byzantine process.

Before we Begin

This article is obviously geared towards transgender people, as that is what I have personal experience as. But the approach here is basically the same for any person changing their name for any reason. So there is some terminology, such as deadname, that is used here that may be unfamiliar. Please take a moment to look up any unfamiliar terms.

This process sucks.

You need to be aware that this process is just going to suck. You’re going to have to deadname yourself pretty much every time, and very often you will need to call multiple times. Customer service agents will be unprepared because people changing their full names is much rarer than, like a last name. You’re going to have to submit invasive documentation, sometimes multiple times. It’s worth it, but just be aware that this is a marathon, not a sprint.

You’re going to have to talk to people: This also sucks. Sometimes you can do emails or apps, sometimes chat, sometimes you can even fall back to sending faxes (I had to do this for some.) But sometimes you are just going to have to call people and hold their feet to the fire to get them to act. It sucks and is awkward, but it’s what’s needed.

What You’ll Need

• Determination and grit.
• Access to a scanner and a printer.
• Access to a telephone, fax machine and the Internet.
• Ability to travel (such as to go to the court, post office, social security office, etc.)
• At least 3 certified copies of your Legal Name Change (LNC) petition (see “Going to Court” below)
• Time. This is going to take months. Settle in and prepare to spend a few hours a week updating things, making phone calls, and sending emails and faxes.
• Money. For me, the total end cost ended up being around $500. This included court and documentation costs, as well as costs for things like new licenses, new passports, copying, that kind of thing. Fortunately this doesn’t all have to be paid at once.

Ones That Don’t Require Documentation

There are a lot of places that require zero documentation to change a name. Many social media websites, streaming services, and online shopping sites do not require any kind of documentation, you can just change it online. My personal advice is to start changing these as quickly as possible. It’s usually easy, it will be good for your mental health, and if you have been online for any length of time, there are probably a significant number of these.

The biggest surprise here was my alma mater, Auburn University. Getting a new diploma in my new name was just filling out a form and paying some money, and they mailed me a new diploma with my new name on it a month or so later. I have some thoughts on this, but they’re not pertinent to this post.

Going to Court

The process of changing your legal name varies by country, state and municipality, but in most cases it starts with going to court. The requirements are so varied that I couldn’t possibly list all of them but, in general, you will need to file a petition with the court to legally change your name. You may need to provide some supporting documentation. This may include a certified copy of your birth certificate, criminal background check, and fingerprints.

Take the petition to the relevant court clerk in your municipality. You may need to attend a formal hearing; for me thankfully this was unnecessary. You may also be required to publicize your name change in a local paper for a certain number of weeks. This is humiliating, degrading and embarrassing, but still required in many places. For me, thankfully, this was also unnecessary.

In a few weeks, you should get a signed copy of your legal name change petition, making you legally your new name in the eyes of the law. The amount of time this takes is massively variable. For me it was less than a week (it took longer for the petition to come back in the mail than it did for the name change itself.) It can be weeks or months.

At this point, you will need to go back to the courthouse and get at least three certified copies of your Legal Name Change (LNC) petition. You will need these for most of the changes below.

Take a picture of your signed, certified LNC petition, and make a scan as well: For the ones you can do electronically, this will massively speed up your efforts.

If you live in Colorado, this site is invaluable and will walk you through the entire process. It can also generate the forms for you, so literally all you have to do is print them out and take them to the courthouse. It was truly an amazing resource for me and I hope other localities have something similar.

This stage is the most expensive, for me, ringing up at around $250. I paid $86 for the fingerprinting and background check, $80 in court costs to file the petition, and $80 for certified copies of the LNC petition. All of this has to be paid relatively quickly (I think the fingerprints and background check are good for 30 days, so after you do that, you must file relatively quickly.)

Letters of Instruction

Some smaller or older institutions often may not have a formalized form for doing a name and marker change. In this case you can fall back to a Letter of Instruction. This is basically a formal letter instructing them to make a change to your account.

In general this letter should be formal (remember writing formal letters in middle school?) and should be as short, simple and instructive as possible. Here is an example letter that I would usually use:

(address)

To Whom It May Concern:

Please change the legal name on my account from (deadname) to Rebecca Michelle Peck. I have enclosed a copy of the name change petition. [Please also update any associated gender markers to female. I have enclosed relevant documentation to support this.]

Account Number: XXXX

Thank you,

Rebecca Peck (telephone number)

My approach was usually to fax these if I could find a fax number. The fax would include a cover sheet, the letter of instruction, the LNC petition and any other supporting documentation they requested. If you don’t have a fax machine - and why would you, why do fax machines still even exist in 2024? - you can use an internet faxing service to send free faxes.

The Important Ones (aka Start Here)

These are the ones that are really, really important. They should be done as quickly as possible after you get your LNC petition from the court, and at least the first few should be done in order. Social Security absolutely must come first, and you will need some identification that matches your new name and marker.

• Social Security: You must do this one first. After you get your LNC petition, you will need to take a certified copy to the nearest Social Security office. You can do this by mail, but it will be faster to go in person. You’ll also need an updated SS-5 form. At the time of this writing, Social Security is not requiring documentation to update a gender marker, you can self-attest by checking the appropriate box on the form.

  If you go in person, they will give you a temporary printout of your new card showing your updated name and marker.

  Wait at least 24 hours before proceeding:

• DMV: You will next need to go to your DMV to get an updated license. What you will need varies by state; in Colorado, I pre-filled the drivers license application online, and brought my old Alabama license, the Change of Sex Designation form, updated SSN printout, and some other proofs of ID. I had a temporary license when I left and a regular plastic one came in the mail a couple weeks later.

  My photo is horrific. 😂

  You will need to wait for the physical copy to arrive to do some of the others: Once it arrives, take photos of both your new and old IDs. This will be helpful when you need to upload them.

  You should also do vehicle title and registration while you are there, if you have one.

  This one ended up costing about $50. $30 was for a new license, and $20 was for updated titles for both our vehicles.

• Passport: This one is not strictly necessary, but especially if you are transgender, it is a damn good idea. The more ID options we have to choose from that match, the better. And, mostly because it is easier to fix a gender marker on a passport than it is to amend a birth certificate … if amending the certificate is even possible. Mine’s from Florida, so … yeah … And in almost all cases, a passport can substitute as a replacement for a birth certificate.

  This one is a challenge because it is so manual. The US State Department still believes it’s like 1970 or something.

  1. You’ll need to get two updated photos taken of yourself (Office Depot will do these, as will some Walgreens.)
  2. You’ll then need to fill out form DS-82 if you have a passport, or DS-11 if you don’t. There is a form filler online, but you’ll need to print it.
  3. You will then need to get a USPS money order for the filing fee (when I did it it was $130)
  4. You will need to mail the form, the money order, one of your certified LNC petitions, and if you have one, your existing passport book to the US State Department.
  5. You can check your status online.
  6. In 4-6 weeks you should get your new passport book, and separately, your certified LNC petition back.
     
     

• Global Entry: Above where I said “more ID options we have to choose from that match, the better?” Global Entry is another option that can provide you additional federal ID once you have a passport. It also lets you skip being groped by the TSA. You will need to go in person to update your Global Entry, but you don’t need an appointment, just show up.. I did mine when I had a flight out of Denver, I just got to the airport an hour or so early.

  Bring your updated passport and your old Global Entry card. They will update your info and take a new photo. You can travel on your updated name the following day, and your updated card should arrive in a couple of weeks.

• Work: Inform your employer as soon as possible when your social security record is updated, to ensure that taxes are handled correctly. In my case, this also updated insurance and some other things, saving me some time. My work required a copy of my license.

• Voter Registration: You are going to vote, right? Be sure to update your registration with your new name. In Colorado this was automatic when I updated my license, but it will vary depending on the state.

• City Clerk: If you own property, you will want to have the deed updated with your locality. There are way too many ways that this could possibly be done depending on where you live, and my best advice is to consult a real estate agent or attorney. Here in Colorado, my awesome realtor handled this for me, and prepared a quitclaim deed that basically transferreed the property to myself, in my new name.

  There was a $14 charge to file the upated deed with the clerk.

Opening New Accounts

Once you have updated your name and marker with the Social Security Administration, do not open any new accounts for at least one month: This is especially important for any account that asks for your social security number as part of the process (banks, etc.) Most companies use a third party data broker such as LexisNexis to verify the information you have entered. I ran into this specifically trying to open an new college savings account for my child here in Colorado.

I tried calling LexisNexis; they were pretty unhelpful, but did tell me that the only update their information from the Social Security Administration once per month. So, if you are planning on opening any new accounts, it would be best to either do it before changing your name and then go through the name change process, or wait at least a month after everything has been updated.

This, coincidentally, is the reason I didn’t change my name until after we had moved to Colorado. In addition to being slightly easier and cheaper than it would have been in Alabama, I didn’t want to do anything that would complicate a move and home purchase.

Financial

• Apple Card: The easiest one to change, and can be done entirely by chatting with an agent. They will ask you for a photo of your LNC petition. The person I was speaking with even apologized for unintentionally deadnaming me at the beginning of our chat, which was entirely expected as they didn’t know, but it was a nice gesture. It was updated instantly; a typically seamless Apple experience.

• CashApp: Very easy. Does not need proof, just edit your name.

• Chase: I was dreading this one, but it was actually really easy. The key is that you have to follow the following instructions precisely:

  1. Download this form. Fill it out using Preview or another editor. Be sure to sign and date it. Alternatively print, fill out, and scan.
  2. Log in to your Chase account.
  3. Go to secure messaging on the sidebar.
  4. Create a message to account services that says something like “Please change the legal name on my Chase account from (deadname) to (name). I have enclosed the required form and a scan of my proof of name change.” Attach the form, and a scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition.
  5. You should receive an acknowledgement pretty quickly. For me it took about 2 days for them to reply.
  6. You will possibly get an IRS SSN verification form W-9 from Chase in the mail. Fill it out and send it back, or alternatively, follow steps 2-4 above and upload the form to them this way (this will take less time.)
  7. You should get replacement cards with your new name in about a week, but your account should be updated pretty quickly.

• Coinbase: Easy to do and does not require human interaction. Basically, follow these instructions. The update was instant.

• CollegeCounts 529: This is the college savings I had set up for my kid. I had to fax over the Update Form and a scanned, certified copy of my LNC petition. But when I did they made the change to the account within 24 hours.

• Freedom Mortgage: The lender that holds the mortgage on our new home in Colorado. Undocumented (I had to call) but can be done online. Use the messaging functionality within the website to send a message to “Name or Contact Information Updates” with a small letter of instruction as the message. Attach the scanned, certified LNC petition and copies of the front and back of your license.

  Now, comes the bad news: you will most likely need to have your online account completely deleted. This is because, although they can change the legal name on the mortgage itself, the information in their web app is apparently etched in stone:

  Unfortunately, we are unable to update names in the portal. In order to update the name, we would need to delete the profile so that you are able to register the account with the updated name. Please let us know if you would like us to move forward with deleting the current profile so you can update it with the updated name. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

  I did this and it worked fine for me; the re-created account had my new name on it. But at least one friend of mine reported that she was not able to do this and the new account still had her deadname on it. So, you may have to ask several times.

• PayPal: One I was dreading, but turned out so easy. You will need to wait until you have your updated physical ID (license) but, once you do, you can follow these instructions. The change is instant; I am guessing they read the info from the code on the back of the license.

• Robinhood. You’ll need to contact support and be able to provide a scanned copy of your updated license and a scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. I did this via the support chat. You’ll also get a docusign document to sign, that allows you to upload with it your LNC petition and license. After that it took about a week.

• Schwab: Another one that was very easy and extremely responsive. You can use this form. Fill with a PDF filler, don’t forget to sign both old and new signatures. Follow the instructions at the bottom of the form to send a secure message, and enclose a scanned certified copy of your LNC petition. They had it changed within 12 hours.

• USAA: Ugh. This was the big one because they are my primary bank and insurer. They hold checking, savings, credit card, homeowners insurance and auto insurance. And they are an absolute bear to do this with because USAA is an agglomeration of smaller organizations that don’t really talk to each other, so you have to talk to each “part” that you have business with, and you’ll have to do this in stages.

  • Start with your USAA account: Difficult. To do this, you will have to call. Maybe you could theoretically send a fax, but you cannot do this via email, chat or any other modern method of communication. Call USAA and tell the agent what you are trying to do. You may need to be very specific that you are looking to change your full legal name (many agents don’t encounter this often and may not know what to do.)

    USAA will send you a document request through their website. You will need to upload a scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. It will take about 3-4 days, but your USAA profile will be updated with your new name.

    You will then need to contact them again to have your gender marker updated. I was able to do this via chat, but it took some work to defeat the automated chat bot and get to an actual human being. This update, thankfully, is instant.

    Wait 2-3 days for this change to be reflected across USAA’s systems:

  • Banking. Difficult. I was not able to do this by chat and was forced to call. You’ll need to ask for someone in banking. Tell them that you want to change the name on all of your bank accounts, and that you’ve already updated it on your USAA profile.

    This request took about a week to be processed, but you should receive an acknowledgement document online about the change. Annoyingly, this document will be make out to your deadname, but will confirm that the name on the account has been updated. You will also receive these documents in the mail, also made out to your deadname.

    At that point, you will need to call them again and ask for replacement debit cards be sent to you. You can also order new checks now as well.

  • Credit Cards: Easy. Can be done by chat. With the virtual agent, say “credit cards,” then “something else.” This should give you the option to chat with a human being. Tell them that you want to change the name on your USAA Credit Card, and that you’ve already updated it on your USAA profile. Be sure to specifically ask for a replacement card. They should take care of it, and you’ll get your new card within a couple weeks.

  • Auto Insurance: Easy. Can be done by chat. With the virtual agent, say “auto insurance,” then “something else.” This should give you the option to chat with a human being. Tell them that you want to change the name and gender marker on your auto insurance, and that you’ve already updated it on your USAA profile. Be sure to specifically mention your gender marker. They should take care of it and send you updated insurance cards via email. Your updated insurance profile will show 24 hours later.

    If you are transitioning to female, you will probably save a small amount on your monthly premium. For me, this was less than $3 per month. If you are transitioning to male, you should expect probably a corresponding small increase.

    After this is complete, be sure to update your license on file with USAA with your new name and (possibly) number. You can do this online by editing the policy.

    Remember to print your new insurance card(s) for your vehicle(s):

  • Homeowner’s Insurance: Easy. Can be done by chat. With the virtual agent, say “homeowners insurance,” then “something else.” This should give you the option to chat with a human being. Tell them that you want to change the name on your homeowners insurance, and that you’ve already updated it on your USAA profile. They should take care of it and send you updated documents via email. Your updated insurance profile will show 24 hours later.

• Venmo: Very easy. Does not need proof, just edit your name.

• Victory Capital Management: Holds some investments that were formerly part of USAA. Needed letter of instruction and scanned, certified copy of the LNC petition. I ended up sending them via fax, and they were updated within a couple days. All in all fairly painless except for the faxing part.

• Voya: Very difficult (to impossible.) They hold the 401k I have from a previous job. There is no form for the name change; I had to fax over a letter of instruction and the LNC petition. And then … nothing. I called several times. One time a person told me that the name on the account had been changed, but it never seemed to reflect on the website, even after a month.

  I finally got tired of waiting and rolled that old 401k over to Schwab. I had been meaning to do that for years but was putting it off because it seemed like a big deal. This was a pretty good reason to figure it out, and it ended up not being as big a deal as I expected.

Travel

These surprised me. Like really surprised me. Like I can see maybe airlines wanting you to provide documentation, but hotel chains? And each one of these has their own byzantine process.

• American Airlines: Fairly easy. Can be done entirely online through their web site. You’ll need to submit it twice: once for the name and once for the gender marker. It took about a week but it was updated without any other interaction.

• Amtrak: Fairly easy, if slow. Send an email to [email protected] with a scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. Include the following message as your message:

  Hello,

  Please change the legal name my account.

  Number: (your account number)
  Current Name on Account: (your deadname)
  New Name: (your new name)
  Address: (your mailing address)
  

  I have enclosed a copy of the legal name change certificate

  About a week later, the account was updated.

• Choice Hotels: Very easy and very responsive. Follow the instruction in the FAQ. You’ll need photos of both your old and new IDs (front and back) as well as a scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. They fixed it within a half-hour.

• Delta Airlines: The worst. Their web page for for submitting documentation doesn’t seem to work. Their agents are unprepared and rude. Took multiple calls and emails. Still is not fixed as of this writing.

• Hawaiian Airlines: Moderate. The procedure here works. You can try submitting the requested documents online. I did and didn’t hear anything back for a week, so I submitted the same thing to the fax number. It was updated a few days later.

• Hilton: Easy. The procedure documented here works and took about 4 days to complete. Upload your scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition as proof.

• IHG: Easy, but the documented procedure takes longer. They want you to call. I tried to send a fax but was never able to get a fax to succeed. What I did instead was use the standard contact form to ask to change the name on my account. A couple days later someone replied asking for documentation. I sent them the scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition and a couple days later my account was updated.

• JetBlue: The official instructions say to do it by calling them, but I was able to do it by chat. Provided my scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition and it was updated pretty quickly.

• Marriott Bonvoy: Difficult. You can start with these instructions. They’ll send you a link to “securely” upload a your documents, but they only accept a single document and they ask for several, so I ended up having to email the rest. One customer service person got ugly with me and just straight up refused despite being presented with all requested documented:

  I do apologize, we can not change the owner of the Marriott Loyalty account. You can go to Marriott.com and sign up for an account under your name so that you can start earning your own Marriott Bonvoy benefits.

  The “your own” part there really set me off. To which I pushed back hard on because it was such a dismissive and disrespectful response:

  … If you need more information, please ask and I will provide what you need. But just blanket saying no to a simple request backed by a legal court document is absolutely and completely unacceptable.

  This is a completely unacceptable and disrespectful response. Can you please provide me with a supervisor that I may speak with?

  A day later a different person emailed me back confirming that the name on the account had been changed. So they will do it, but depending on the person you get, you might have to push them.

• Southwest Airlines: Easy. You can do it by email using this form.

  1. Select “Comment/Question”
  2. Select “Rapid Rewards”
  3. Select “Account Management”
  4. Select Next
  5. Skip the flight information screen and fill out your new name and contact information.
  6. Select Next
  7. On the next screen type a small message asking them to update your account from your deadname to your new name. Attach your scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition.
  8. Select submit. You will receive an email with a case number. I put this in my notes but it ended up not being necessary, it was updated a couple days later.

  If you were as unfortunate as me to have your deadname as part of your username, you’ll need to repeat the process above but ask for your username to be changed. Southwest will clear the username from your account. You can then log in as your Rapid Rewards number and set a new username.

• United Airlines: Easy. Can be done entirely online. When you edit your name on the website, it will prompt you to upload your scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. The change should be made within a couple of days.

• Wyndham: Pretty easy. You can use the online form to send a message. You can use the letter of instruction template; be sure to include your Wyndham Rewards number. Attach your scanned, certified copy of your LNC petition. The change was made within a few days.

Bills

There are so many possible bills that it would be very hard to list the universal requirements. In general, most utility bills required at least the scanned, certified copy of my LNC petition. My electric company reqired that and my updated license.

One I specifically should call out is T-Mobile. I couldn’t do this online in any way that I could find, nor could I find a live chat service to use. So one day I just went by a T-Mobile store and they were able to take care of it for me. I needed the certified copy of my LNC petition and my updated license, but it only took about 5 minutes for someone to fix it.

Epilogue

This is one of the many reasons I wish I had transitioned earlier. After 40+ years, the number of places where my deadname exists is so large that I will probably never be able to get all of them. What I tried to do was get as many of the common and obivous ones as I could, and from now on I’ll just update them as I see them.

So … how long does it take? I filed my legal name change petition on July 29th, 2024 and it was signed by the Larimer County Court on July 31, 2024 (my “name day”.) But even before then, I started changing whatever names I could, some as early as the day I came out or even before, so by the point I had legally changed my name, anything that I could change without documentation I had already changed.

I officially did my last major one when I updated my Global Entry on October 15, 2024. I probably could have done that one sooner, but it involved a trip to the Denver Airport, and I was flying in October anyways, so I just decided to tack that onto my airport trip. So, around 2.5 months from legal name change to the last major item.

I pushed this process very fast and very hard, largely out of fear. With an impending election and one candidate openly hostile to my community, I feared that I might lose access to the ability to do some of these (like I already lost the ability to do my birth certificate in Florida.) I didn’t want to risk any more doors closing.

It should not be this hard.

This entire process was, simply, a pain. At every point, people will want documentation from you. Sometimes they will second guess you. You will meet with the occasional rejection, and you’ll need to push back on someone. And sometimes, you will just straight up be told no. They’ll drag their feet on something so simple so that it takes weeks. It’s expensive, often demeaning and frustrating, time consuming, and at times can feel like a second job.

And in so many of these cases, it’s really just unnecessary. The invasive documentation requirements to update my name with a hotel chain for instance, and the pushback I got in some cases, really just blew my mind.

It’s also not the end. Even when you’ve gotten all the major ones and even most of the minor ones, as my friend Laura likes to say, “junkmail is forever.” You are most likely going to continue seeing your deadname for some months or even years thanks to the sheer number of databases out there that contain your personal information. One of my other friends even reports receiving junk mail addressed to both her deadname and new name, on the same envelope!

So, even though it may seem like the end, it’s not. You’re going to still be battling people who seem completely incapable of understand that people can and do change names.

It's also so, so worth it.

Every time I see my new name appear somewhere, it’s like a special little treat, a jolt of joy. Getting my license, credit card, and other commonly used artifacts of my everyday life to accurately reflect who and what I am is a massive source of joy … and also makes my life easier. I don’t have to encounter weird looks and possibly extra questions if the gendered name and photo on my license obviously does not look like how I appear now.

It’s also a matter of safety. Especially if you live in or travel to hostile places or have to deal with unaccepting people, having something that clocks you could represent a very real and present danger to your physical safety. Having everything updated to match your identity and presentation reduces the risk of unintentional exposure.

But at the end of the day, it’s about acknowledgement. It’s about others acknowledging who and what you are. And, it’s about you having everything that any other adult would be expected to have represent you in the way you want. That is what will always make this process, as painful as it is, completely worth it in the end.